The "Soul Mate" Theory

The more I read about the subject of relationships the more I am appreciative of those that have, at least on the surface, made theirs work. The hope that they have nurtured a healthy friendship to the point they feel that they can grow together and fellowship as a couple. That they can trust one another completely because they have nothing to hide. They can have disagreements but, never true arguments. They have enough respect and communicate with each other clearly. That means, they can work out any differences in a healthy manner. And, mind you, this may sound perfect but, it is a rough blueprint of the construction of a healthy happy marriage. At least, on the surface, it does. . .

I was reading a blog recently from one of my friends, Ebony. She asked, "Do you believe in the 'soul mate' theory?" She went on to say, "My definition of a soul mate is a person being the other half of you. They are not necessarily "perfect", in fact who is? A soul mate is someone with whom we can bare the depths of our soul, or inner being, to. We embrace them completely and they complete us, completely. Soul mates may not agree on certain issues that goes on in life but they do not make that an issue against there relationship." Deidre, a sweetheart of a friend, spoke in a past blog about "soul mates", suggesting that you might be better off not marrying your "soul mate". Your "soul mate" could merely be your best friend.

I don't know how many times, in these blogs and to people I talk to, expressed how important friendship is. It is the best part of ones singleness, as Joshua Harris like to call it. Singleness is the time in your life when you learn what God has in store for you. You learn to trust God more and more. You have to make the choices, using God given "free will". But, always make those choices based on what God has places on your heart through prayer. Remember it is not about you because God takes care of the humble. After all, was not it Isaiah that said, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6) I guess I have always found it hard to realize that it is a blessing being single. I always thought something was really wrong with me because I did not have a girlfriend. What I should have been wondering about is friends, in general. And, maybe in today's world, this might sound weird but, I am lucky that I was not wrapped up into "peer pressure" like so many others tend to be. The old "go along to get along" attitude seems to get most everybody in trouble, at some point. So, I am not sure if that is from a lack of having friends or a blessing in disguise.

Re-read the very first paragraph of this blog! You build up a healthy friendship. If you think that you would like to get to know that person better, tell her and ask her to pray about it. Never make it an ultimatum situation. Do not play games but, set clear goals and make sure that she understands that, whatever happens, the hope is that we become closer and better friends. Get to know each other's character. And, at this stage, the physical should not even be an issue (you know what I mean!). Always remember to put God first. That is what makes the whole dating thing so sour. You focus on her. Your girlfriend becomes an idol! If all these things are in place, after carefully building up an strong friendship and really get to know one another with the understanding that you want to marry her if it is God's will, and things seem and feel right at that point. That is closest you will ever come to a true "soul mate".

Anyway, I have learned so much about myself and have much to learn still. I have messed up so many times but, I have given those things to God. I have accepted that I have to wait till I am truly ready. God knows when that will be and, if it is his will, I will find the perfect person for me. Do I already know her? Is it someone I never would ever think would have anything to do with me? Is it someone from my past or someone that I have not even met yet? Only God knows those answers and he will tell me, in his own ways and in correct time.